DOES PARENTS REQUIRE TO REACH A CHILDREN’S OBEDIENCE?
We adults often envy those with obedient children. Just think – they implicitly sit down for lessons, put their things in place, do not argue with parents at every step! This is just some pipe dream of most dads and mothers who are forced to tame a tomboy every day instead of relaxing with their family. Indeed, sometimes the child does not obey. Tired after a full day’s care, parents can hardly withstand an irrational protest against any of their proposals. What if children do not obey their parents? How to make peace reign in the family?
WHY CHILDREN DO NOT LISTEN TO THEIR PARENTS?
From the point of view of an adult, it is natural to obey the parents who gave you life and provide you with livelihoods. Children’s executive behavior is a kind of payment for education and safety. However, sooner or later, the day inevitably comes when your baby does not want to do what he is told. In psychology, this “software failure” is called the “3-year crisis.” Yesterday, an obedient child violates prohibitions in every conceivable and inconceivable way. He persistently insists on his opinion, even to the detriment of his interests. It seems that the main thing for him is to become a winner in the dispute at all costs. However, parents should not sound the alarm. So the child is aware of his “I”. He becomes older, more independent, and, separating, finds his will.
The behavior of the child is changing, he will never be the same. Parents should be aware that the age crisis is a natural phenomenon. Now, in order to achieve what they want, they will have to learn to persuade, encourage and punish. When they are older, children fulfill the requirements if they:
coincide with their own desires;
smart enough and reasonable (bring them potential benefits);
supported by moral encouragement or gift;
backed by the threat of possible punishment.
REASONS FOR CHILD DISABILITY
To find out why the child does not obey, it is necessary to find out the reason for disobedience. There may be several. And to find out why children do not obey their mother is not so difficult. You just need to analyze the actions of the child and their reactions to them.
The period of crisis. In psychology, there are a number of basic stages of a crisis: 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, 7 years and 10-12 years, when adolescence begins. Of course, these boundaries are conditional, but within their limits, the children’s personality and abilities of your son or daughter change. There is a change in his psychological state and behavior.
A large number of taboos. When a child rebels, parents do not need to worry much. Children at the age of 5 and 15 will rebel against the prohibitions. If the baby is constantly limited in something, then he will simply have a deliberate desire to do everything against the will of mom and dad. Thus, he tries to show adults his independence and independence.
The inconsistency of mom and dad. Sometimes in the evening, parents allow their son or daughter to watch the cartoon before going to bed. And the next day is already banned. As a result, the child cannot understand what and when he can and cannot, and because of this does not obey.
Permissiveness. In this case, there are no restrictions, mom and dad allow the child to do absolutely everything, thinking that this creates a happy childhood for him. In fact, they make the child spoiled, which will only interfere with him in the future.
what to do if the child does not obey
HOW TO RESPOND TO DISAUDE
Parents should know what to do if the child does not obey, and how to behave in a similar situation.
Reduce the number of restrictions, leave the taboo only for very significant misconduct, then the number of disciplinary measures will be reduced.
If a child of 8 years old does not obey, and you constantly shout at him, then change his tone, speak calmly.
Sometimes a baby of 6 years old deliberately provokes a danger, so that mom and dad would be scared for him, and he would absorb their experiences. In this case, one should not overly emotionally react.
If your child is very passionate about something and does not respond to comments, then attract his attention with quiet voices, gestures and facial expressions. Then, in any case, he will have to pay attention to you.
Is it worth it to command a child?
After 3 years, the child increasingly makes decisions independently and rejects adult help. Full obedience can only be achieved by suppressing his will. In those families where an authoritarian model of upbringing is adopted, the requirements of the parents (or one of them) are not customary to discuss. The child is deprived of the choice of friends, books, developing activities, any alternative to his mother’s and father’s decision. Who will grow out of an obedient little man? How will authoritarianism in the family affect his character:
A child of 9 years old will begin to think that only secretly, secretly from everyone can achieve the desired. As a result, the severity of prohibitions can contribute to the development of deceit.
A calm, non-conflict child, seeing the reality and inevitability of punishment, is able to behave as required from him.