SECRETS OF DEVELOPMENT OF SELF-DISCIPLINE IN A CHILD
Self-discipline is the development of a person’s inner qualities, thanks to which, by controlling current, momentary desires, one can set a goal and achieve it. Self-discipline is that important component of growing up and responsibility. She is responsible for both her and others’ actions. This is an understanding and competent setting of boundaries for oneself, during the passage of which a person moves in the direction he needs.
But she does not appear on her own. This is a skill that has been developing over the years. From an early age, when parents set any laws and rules of conduct, the child begins to learn self-discipline. It is noted that if the child is allowed to do everything and not even prohibit norms of behavior, then children grow up too spoiled, they value neither things nor people and rarely achieve high positions in society, because they are not used to working for the goal. It is important to learn to correctly establish these rules, then the upbringing of children’s self-discipline will move harmoniously. Why competently? Because if there are no rules or they are too strict, this will lead to the fact that the child will not be able to become an independent person, who makes informed decisions and assesses future risks and responsibilities.
Secrets of the development of self-discipline in a child
HOW TO DEVELOP A CHILD’S SELF-DISCIPLINE?
First of all, you need to come up with boundaries that your family does not cross. This applies to both your child and you. By their own example, parents show that this is not only a ban specifically for the baby, but it is generally not customary to act in society. It is important that children understand the reasons for such rules. It is not necessary to give complex explanations, it is enough that your child understands that the framework does not appear just like that, they must be followed for a certain reason. So he is accustomed to understanding the cause-effect relationships between things, and in another similar situation he will already have a basic set of “tools” for solving such situations.
It is necessary to say: “Raise your hand at a distance to the hot iron, do you feel that your hand is getting warm? So it’s hot, and you don’t need to touch it if you don’t want to get burned ”instead of the simple“ You can’t ”. “Dad was very tired at work, and he needs to get enough sleep so that tomorrow he would be awake. And then he will be able to play with you, spend more time. And now you should go to bed earlier so that tomorrow you have the strength to play with dad. ”
Sincerely appreciate the help and support from children. Especially it is possible to specially note those situations when he acts according to the given limits: “Well done, that you decided to collect all the toys in their places before going to bed.
Do not rush to immediately reassure the child if he, not following the rules, feels bad. This is an element of growing up so that in
later it was easier for him to understand what was bad and what was good. Explain to him that mistakes are normal, people learn from mistakes how to act in different situations. Habits are formed from early childhood, and in the future it is extremely difficult to rebuild the child himself. Therefore, you must initially cultivate and encourage the right habits in children. Thus, it is unacceptable if the parent decided to succumb to screams or tears and change boundaries. Children who understand that it is possible to get something just by having a tantrum will continue to use just such a pattern of behavior.
You should not always encourage the child with material values, money or sweets. Children will get used to this very quickly and will evaluate their further actions in terms of benefits. They will start from the opposite: “Buy me this machine, and I will wash the dishes.” Parents think that in this way they also instill the right habits in the child, but they only bribe him. And later in a similar situation – he simply will not perform this or that action for “free”. The best encouragement is praise, and the best punishment is disapproval. Praise the children for the right, good deeds, let them feel pride in themselves. And when the children behave badly, explain why you can’t do this, let them feel shame.
Achieving goals for which self-discipline develops can take a very long time, so you should pay attention to the development of such an important skill as patience in a child. In early childhood, the infant received everything momentarily, and this approach remains with the child in the future. But in the case when it becomes necessary to wait, he is more likely to behave very emotionally. Begin to prepare him for this feeling in advance. If the child asks for something, it is not necessary right at that moment to give up all his affairs and begin to fulfill his request. Tell him that you can fulfill his request after some of your actions: “I will do the dishes at home, and then I can read you a book.”
Create situations and encourage the child if he wants to do something that takes a long time.