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In any family, a situation may arise when the mother and father have their own clear ideas about the upbringing of the child, and each of them intends to defend their point of view. Like it or not, each of the parents is a separate, formed personality with its own specific views, which are rooted throughout life. Based on this, differences in parenting and conflicts can arise in the family, and if they arise often enough, this can become a big problem in the family.

To avoid constant quarrels, use the following tips.

Tips for parents: how to overcome differences in parenting?

First tip.

In the presence of the child, always be on one side, supporting each other. If the rule for the child has already been established, the second parent should support it so that the son or daughter does not have the impression that you yourself cannot come to an agreement and do not know what to do. This will undermine your authority in the eyes of the baby, and he will decide that any rule can be circumvented. An exception may be the situation if you see that the rule set by your spouse can harm the child. Then you should justify your decision in the presence of the whole family.

Second tip.

Agree in advance on a unified strategy for parenting. Disagreements in raising a child should not concern your child. If possible, not in the presence of a son or daughter, discuss the general principles that you will adhere to. Do not forget that any of your disagreements, conflicts, disputes that harm the psyche of the child, disturbing him, can cause conscious disobedience. Any disputes cause a child to be negative and will be remembered for a long time. In the presence of the child, the main thing is to focus on his actions and solve the problem together, and not argue with the spouse. Support the second parent with the child, even if you do not agree. It is better to leave all the disputes and discussions for later, and after that, in solitude, come up with a more effective and serious solution to the problem.

Third tip.

Do not ignore the anxiety of your other half. Even if in any situation you do not see anything reprehensible and are not going to prohibit the child from doing anything, your spouse may have cause for excitement. This is important and needs to be discussed, support each other. Also, do not be silent about your concern. Do not argue, but explain why it bothers you. Be sure that your partner will understand you.

Tips for parents: how to overcome differences in parenting?

Fourth tip.

All discussions are held only in a calm state. Thus, you can more clearly and objectively explain your position and understand the opposite opinion. In our right mind, we all understand that there is no ideally correct point of view, it is important to discuss any opinion, but at the same time not exaggerate the negative and not enter into conflicts. In this situation, understanding is much easier.

Fifth tip.

If your spouse has insisted on a strict decision that you may not agree with and your child is upset, start sympathizing with the child, support him, but in no case blame the spouse. You do not have the goal of “making friends with someone”, it is important that you all together feel support and mutual understanding. No one should feel alone or guilty.

Sixth tip.

Very often, young parents copy the principles of upbringing that apply to them themselves. It is useful to learn from each other how you yourself were raised in childhood. In this you will find the roots of each other’s beliefs. You should discuss this and make it clear to each other that you were brought up at a completely different time and under different circumstances, and instead of copying the parenting line of your parents, you should develop your own relevant principles that will be useful to your family and your child.

Tips for parents: how to overcome differences in parenting?

Seventh tip.

Children are very discerning, and when you cannot agree, they begin to use the odds in raising a child between their parents to their advantage. For example, any parents monitor the child’s performance at school, and any student prefers fun to study. And here is an example for you: while you are discussing who is to blame for the poor performance of the child: strict teachers, pressure from one of the spouses, concessions to the other of the spouses, the conflict is growing, and your child, meanwhile, can calmly go to watch TV. The problem has not been resolved. It is beneficial for a son or daughter to provoke such a conflict, because here the baby himself avoids responsibility. You must be alert. Instead of quarreling in the presence of the child, agree on the issue in advance and be consistent, then your student’s behavior will also change for the better.

The eighth advice.

Stop the argument at least temporarily. Focus on the child, on his behavior, his desires. Go on a joint walk or come up with another activity for the whole family. After you pause, try to discuss why this is so important for each of you.

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