LEARNING THE ART OF DISPUTE
“Do not argue with me!” – how often we say this phrase to a child. But it’s not right. The ability to argue is an important skill worth teaching your children. Truth is born of controversy, so if you believe the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates, you need to be able to defend your opinion.
The kid first obediently obeys adults and does everything as they say. But time passes, the child begins to form as a person, he has his own opinion. As a teenager, his views often do not coincide with those of his parents. The complex science of controversy must be understood in childhood.
To be able to defend your point of view is very important. If a person does not have an opinion, he ceases to develop as an individual. People who have their own views on something are less inferior to others. Among them, there are almost no those who may fall into ideological or religious dependence. The debaters are confident in themselves and can repulse everyone. But it should be borne in mind that someone else’s opinion is also an opinion, and should be treated with respect. It is necessary to teach the child to have his own point of view, to uphold it and to relate adequately to his opponent.
In order for children to have their own ideas about something, you need to teach them to think. You can not draw conclusions for the child, it is better to direct them along the right path. If he asks a question, do not immediately answer. Give him a clue. For example, a baby asks: “Mom, where is my backpack?” Ask him a counter-question: “Where did you leave him?” Then he will begin to remember yesterday, draw up a causal relationship and he will remember. Also, the child will think if you ask his opinion on the little things. “Why do you like this toy?” Or “What do you want for dinner?” The main thing in this business is independence and the ability to think.
Next, teach the child to argue his position. He should not just say “I want”, “I think”, but explain his opinion. “I want because …”, “I think so, because of …”. Listen to the child to the end, do not interrupt. Let him be confused at first, support him. Gradually, he learned to turn his thoughts into logical phrases.
Teach your child to draw conclusions. After he spoke about an event, ask what he learned from it. Also, after reading a fairy tale or a book, find out what morality this story contained.
Remind the child that in a dispute you need to behave yourself. Screaming, aggressive gestures and even fights will not lead to anything good. Emotion is not proof. You need to monitor your behavior.
Explain to your son or daughter that any position has the right to life. You need to listen to someone else’s opinion and respect it. Even despite the fact that the opponent’s point of view can be directly opposite to the child’s point of view, you need to let another person speak out. Listening to your opponent means not only showing a good upbringing, but also the opportunity to find a suitable argument for yourself.
Tell the child that everyone can remain in a dispute with their opinion. And this is normal. No need to defend your point of view with foam at the mouth. In the end, a dispute exists to find the truth, not stubbornness.