They are the most reliable helpers of parents who will always come to sit with the child or even take him to themselves, and at the first request they agree to bring the little schoolboy to home. They not only do not require material rewards, but also buy gifts for your child. Who are these holy people? This is the older generation – grandparents.
Grandmother … How much is there in this word for each of us.
Comfort and wisdom, patience and understanding, concern for us and our children. Who will always help out and sit with the child, who will prepare the most delicious birthday cake? Of course, grandmother. But despite the contribution that the older generation makes to the education of grandchildren, the time comes when you need to stop and start limiting the relationship between your grandmother and your children. Our article is about why this situation occurs, and how to prevent fragmentation of the ideals of the child.
FEATURES OF CHILD EDUCATION BY GRANDMOTHER
The role of the older generation in family education cannot be underestimated. But raising a child by a grandmother has pros and cons.
Of the positive, it is important to note unconditional love. Grandmothers are not infuriated by the scattered flour throughout the kitchen during a culinary debut or smeared gouache on the floor. Thanks to this, the child grows up creative and confident. They pamper their grandchildren, sing songs to them, read tons of books at bedtime, thereby showing the essence of unconditional love. Grandmothers are ready to walk with the child to victory, they are not in a hurry, like young mothers who have never had time to do anywhere, which makes children grow more harmonious and healthier.
The upbringing of a grandson by a grandmother has negative aspects: a child enters an atmosphere of permissiveness. He is allowed to eat cookies in unlimited quantities, not to clean up after himself and even be rude. That is, everything that my mother forbade, with her grandmother goes with a bang! Returning home, the child continues to behave by inertia as well, in response to meeting the discontent of the parents. Thus, a small person gets into a state of disorientation. Grandmother in this case is not to blame, but contributed to the process.
TYPES OF GRANDMAN EDUCATION
Nowadays, the education of grandmothers is manifested in a variety of forms. It may be too strong guardianship, unquestioned authority and a strong life position that outshines the parent. And there may be an extremely liberal attitude to raising a child, permissiveness and excessive gentleness.
The authoritarian style of upbringing stands out as poles, in which the older generation fully assumes the role of parents, based on the fact that they have more experience. The opposite of the authoritarian style is democratic, in which the grandmother is a lamp of peace and affection, which does not go as opposed to parental decisions.
In both cases, the main point that mothers and fathers should not miss is that Grandma’s help in education does not flow into the personal control of the entire educational process. Therefore, sending your child for the summer “in the village”, do not forget to get a comment from your son or daughter. How did it go, what did he learn. Talk with your grandmother about how she sees your child’s future development, why she considers him the best.
Definitely, it’s hard to argue with your grandmother about education, and even more difficult to convince anyone of anything. But, nevertheless, do not ignore the experience of grandparents. Try to heed their advice and make the most of it for yourself and your children.
When deciding to argue, try to describe your point of view and try to make your arguments weighty enough for the older generation.
CONFLICTS IN EDUCATION BETWEEN MOM AND GRANDMOTHER
The role of grandmother in the upbringing is very important. There are circumstances when a child constantly lives with his grandparents, and mother, for example, after a divorce arranges her personal life, lives in another city and comes only to visit. In this case, the grandmother is a victim of circumstances, she gives the grandson or granddaughter all of herself, but she is not able to replace her mother. In such conditions, the child grows up with a number of hidden complexes. Boys may have trouble communicating with the opposite sex. They may not even create their own family in the future. Girls are very likely to repeat the fate of their mother, not understanding why they should spend time on their own child, if there is a grandmother. In this case, the grandmother’s upbringing does not reflect well on the future life of the grandson or granddaughter.
What to do? Raise children themselves, do not throw them at grandmothers, try to find a middle ground.
WHEN DO I NEED RESTRICTION OF COMMUNICATION WITH GRANDMOTHER?
A measure of restraint in communication with a grandmother is not always necessary. But if you notice too much pressure from her side, which runs counter to your settings, be careful. Gently agree with your grandmother and grandchildren about future meetings, and how often they will be held. As you yourself understand, do not talk about restricting communication